Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Idealotry

There are many things I like about myself and who God has made me to be.  I am an honest person.  I have good hair. 


However, somewhere along the way in my thirty-one years I have picked up some unfortunate habits/thought patterns that have woven themselves tightly into who I am.  I call them my uglies.  Occassionally they surface like a nasty pimple.  I usually pop them and then get on with my day. Fortunately for me, and for those around me, God is calling me up and out of my uglies and towards him.  This blog is partially to document that and partially to make sure that I am not that crazy.  That others share in some of my struggles.


One of the many uglies that rears it's head every now and then in my life is a little something I like to call idealotry. Besides, this is my blog and I can make up words if I want to! Idealotry is the worship of the ideal life.  It's the running standard in my head of what life should look like pitted against what real life looks like.  The two are usually so far apart that it's not even funny.


And it's not.  It's not funny.  Because what usually happens is that I do not allow myself to be happy unless my ideal life matches my real life.  And seriously, when does that happen?  I want to look like a super model.  I want my children to be scrubbed and brushed and clipped and have halos over their heads.  I want my meals to look like the cover of a Racheal Ray cookbook.  I want my home to look like a Restoration Hardware magazine.  I want my bank account to look like...well, look like somethings in it.


And where it really hits a nerve is with the holy life.  I have this ideal of what a life lived for Jesus looks like.  It's radical.  Like, sell my house, move to a third world country, and start an orphanage with my family.  I have an ideal of what the Church should look like.  This glossy picture of open homes, open checkbooks, open hearts, provision and forgiveness.  I have an ideal of just leaving reality behind and just wearing burlap or whatever the saints of old did and just proclaiming Jesus Christ to whoever doesn't run away from me when they see my fleas.  It sounds pretty, minus the fleas. 


And I'm not even sure that my ideals are mistaken.  My mistake is the amount of control I relinquish to them on a daily basis. 


So, often times I spend my reality; this present life; unhappy.  My reality is not even close to my idealotry.  I am no supermodel.  That's so far from the truth that I laughed out loud as I typed it.  Madeline has been in a time out three times today.  We eat frozen pizzas a lot.  As I survey my present life and the ideal life it breeds discontentment.  A dangerous thing.  Because I get so stuck on the picture in my head that I begin to think that I will only be fully happy if the two match up.  And it sucks the joy right out of my reality.  Thievery. 
And I know that I'm not alone in this.  Daily I listen to loved ones who struggle to find happiness with where they live, what they look like, the amount of money they have and the circumstances that they are living in.  If only we could win the lottery.  If only I could lose these last 20 pounds.  If only I could move back to be closer to my family.  If only...then.  I am in no way diminishing the hardships of anyones life...but where it becomes dangerous is when we refuse to live fully in our present lives because we are so wrapped up in what "should be."  Idealotry is debilitating. 


I also realize that there are times where God is calling us up and out of the way we do life into a higher standard of living.  But I don't believe that God is honored by our daydreaming of the ideal life.  I believe He is honored by us pulling up our bootstraps, with His help, and tackling our days with passion and fervor, even if they are not what we want them to be.   I believe that God is glorified when we hand over our ideals, and instead of living to the impossible standards in our head, we allow Him to guide us and move us into a life more fulfilling, rewarding, and exciting than we could even imagine!


 My God is a God who calls out to the deep.  Who is willing to get dirty with me and sift through the mess that is me...keeping the good, adding more goodness, and throwing my uglies as far as the east is from the west.

14 comments:

  1. Beautifully written! Thank you for sharing with us what so many of us need to remember!!! Love seeing this!

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  2. You are a wise young woman who is 'getting it'!!!!! Through out all of life these are issues we must work at getting rid of. Oh, the things we might desire can change but the heart of discontent is one we will battle to the grave. I pray your candor allows many to be honest before God.

    I find myself needing to go back to two verses often. Both are in Philippians Chapter 4.

    Verse 8 states - "Finally, 'people' whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honorable, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things. "

    Verse 11 states, "Not that I speak in respect of want: for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therein to be content." both of these verses require me to refocus and shift my attitude.

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    1. I love you Claudia! Those are two of my favorite passages. But SO HARD to live out!

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  3. I needed to read this, you are so right, and you reminded me that I am right too! LOL! I've been telling myself that happiness comes from within, not from what we aquire, but gosh darnit, so much easier said than done!

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    1. Karrie...you nailed it. From within. From the Love that we have:) We have been in prayer for your family. Praying that God's strength and perfect peace comes through for you and Al once again.

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  4. There are many of us who struggle with perfectionism, which, I believe, is epidemic among American Christians. We find ourselves chasing the American Dream, and in doing so we run further and further from Jesus. Failure to surrender our "idealotry" can lead to crippling discouragement or bitterness or that debilitated state that renders us useless to serve God according to His purposes for our lives.
    You might enjoy a book called "Martha to the Max" - but I think you've already got a pretty good handle on the subject. Thanks for your transparency!

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    1. Anita, I could not agree more! I started reading "Martha to the Max" a few years back, but then had to get up to clean something and never returned:) Maybe I could use that book more than I thought! Thank you for your encouragement!

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  5. I love reading these. Ideally....ha ha...I would love to read one a day!!! But this helps me get through the week! You are an awesome writer and I can't wait for the next post!!!

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  6. Just found you through our Facebook community and I am SO blessed by this post. This is probably becoming more and more true of women nowadays, with countless ways we can measure ourselves and be reminded of what we're not - of what we don't have etc. Tons of examples come to my head as I say that! Thank you, Rachel, for cutting through those false ways of thinking. I'm so excited to hear more of what you have to say. I hope you have a great weekend.

    Amy

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    1. Thank you Amy for your kind words! So glad that my fumbling towards Jesus brings me into community with such honest people. I'm excited about the facebook group!

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    2. I am so happy to find you too through our Facebook group. What a beautiful and trust post! What an awesome reminder!
      Thank you for sharing!!

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  7. Rachel this is fantastic! Thank you for your honesty and for sharing your heart. I struggle with the same "ideal life" idolatry and I know it can destroy the good life that I do have.
    I cant wait to read more:)

    I have a giveaway going on at my blog and would love for you to enter!
    http://the-life-of-faith.blogspot.com/2012/02/its-love-sale-and-giveaway.html

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